The mid year results are out as of this week

and i dont have to be a genius to know that i've done very badly.

F for chem, 29%

F for math, 3.75%

D for bio, 52.4%

im guessing i got an E for lit,cuz thats what im scored for shakespeare paper. 46%

a B3 for GP n E8 for chinese.but these arent my Alevel subjects,so it doesnt really count, does it?

im not gonna bitch about how strict the marking scheme is or how much of a bitch adeline neo was during lecture, cuz seriously,

we all reap what we sow, dont we?

and after all, there no point crying over spilt milk.

but somehow i walk away from this experience feeling empty

yes, i've learnt

i know that i have to buck up and to really get down to business when it comes to studies

to not procrastinate nor stand around and whine about it like how i always do.

but i feel hollow,empty,meaningless

i think i lost my spark, my drive in life to be optimistic and pick myself up after every fall

i think i lost the way i used to see life, to enjoy it and look on the bright side despite all the downs and failures i suffer

i think i see no joy in doing what i used to enjoy doing.

everything becomes a monotony

everything becomes meaningless .

sigh

but im tryin.at least now im studying and doing my tutorials

although i feel like im being forced to.

im defintely not enjoying it,but do i have a choice?

i chose the Alevels path and damned science course myself,

and have no one else to blame for this state except myself huh.

k im not making sense

studying sucks

im starting to hate school

and everything around me

i hope its just a passing phase.